HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Today, I am 30 and it feels so much more awesome than 21, and let me tell you, 21 was pretty effing awesome.

I was born of love and I don’t just mean my parents making love to conceive me. I mean my birth story, the story I’d heard at least 50 times and watched her face light up as she told it every time. A story of love that I’ll treasure for a lifetime because it is one I can never hear again from her; my mama. Yes, I was unplanned and unexpected outside of the 9 months my mother spent “expecting”, but I was both loved and welcomed. To begin life in such a beautiful way is a great, great blessing.

It is not easy to love yourself in a culture & society that sows insecurities in order to profit from them. It is even more difficult when you love yourself through it and the same society attempts to twist your confidence into arrogance and conceit. This has been my battle.

Even if I try to in this post, I could never completely explain how amazing it feels to fall in love with your authentic self. To break the chains of self doubt and remove yourself from the tug of war between displaying confidence and humility.

Today, on my born date, I would like to share 30 things that I love about me. Good, bad, bold, and beautiful, here goes.

  1. My confidence. Unmatched.
  2. My sense of style. It’s not even on purpose. I just have a natural inclination for it. I’m always surprised when people compliment me on my style.
  3. My natural inclination to forgive. I can’t hold a grudge. I’ve tried. So I’m very thankful to be such a forgiving person. It allows me to remain so free spirited. I think it’s genetic.
  4. My name. Victoria, what an elegant, classy, and timeless name. My grandmother did awesomely in naming me. I am indeed Victorious.
  5. My maternal instincts. Loving my children is a passion. Breastfeeding was not a question. I knew each of their sex the moment I discovered I was expecting. They don’t have to tell me something isn’t right, I already know.
  6. My hair: If you hadn’t read Locs of Freedom, the story of my loc journey, then you should. The most transformational transition this side of adulthood. I love my hair for everything it represents.
  7. A very direct, bold, and blunt style of delivery. You may get angry, you may feel hurt, but eventually it’ll sink in and one day you’ll say, “Damn, she was right.” It’s happened more times than I can count. But be clear, I don’t do it to be right; it doesn’t always feel good to be right. I do it because I don’t believe, “I didn’t know,” or “How come no one ever told me?” should ever be an excuse for anyone. My true friends know this and that is why they don’t ever hesitate to return to tell me that I was indeed right because they know I won’t say I told you so. Now if only I could get them to do the same for me.
  8. My sunny disposition. Like they say; glad I don’t look like what I’ve been through. Yes, I’ve been through some tough stuff but you couldn’t tell from the size of the grin on my face. Life is in a constant state of awesome for me. I have way too much to be grateful for.
  9. An inquisitive and observant nature. I question everything and come to my own conclusions.
  10. Love for my people. Pro-black to the death of me. We are a unique, creative, and rhythmic group of people. I admire our culture so much. Just the other day my daughter told me she wanted to travel to Africa. Epic-ly proud mommy moment.
  11. Craftiness and handiness. I am a Jill of all trades. I catch on to new tasks very quickly. This is really a double edge sword because I also get bored easily. Uh-oh!
  12. Keen strategic ability. I am the woman with the master plan even if I don’t always act on that plan. I am an excellent strategist.
  13. Information Hoarder. I’m constantly learning new ideas and new skills; taking local courses offered in community, classes on udemy, spending countless hours searching the internet, for new and interesting information about what ever subject. My mind holds random bits of knowledge, a little about everything mostly.
  14. A spirit of discernment. I see through the bullsh!t, if not initially, certainly eventually. Even if I don’t always listen, I can’t blame in on the fact that I didn’t know. I had a good idea as I am a pretty good judge of character. During the times where I have failed to listen to my own discernment, it has taught me to trust myself. I’m still learning.
  15. Love of reading. Instilled in me by my mother who’d buy me books as gifts instead of toys. Non fiction, black history, self help, self improvement, metaphysics, NDE, and spirituality. I don’t recall a time when my mother was not reading.
  16. My introversion. I know introverts who wish they were more outgoing and could easily open up. I am not one of them. I like to take my time getting to know people to be certain about my approach in relationships. I absolute enjoy my time alone. I make plans to get out more but often end up staying in and I’m content with that. I am hands down my favorite person to spend time with. Just me, my mirror, and my music.
  17. Volunteering in the community. I love, love, love to volunteer. The happiest moments of my life have been spent helping others get to a better position in their lives whether it has been reading to students at elementary schools and rebuilding communities for Hands on Atlanta, volunteering for post Hurricane Katrina clean up in New Orleans, painting homes for Habitat for Humanity in Savannah, preparing meals for the homeless at the Broward County Outreach Center, or teaching English as a Second Language at Memorial Assistance Ministries here in Houston. I like to volunteer at every available opportunity. I also enjoy developing a relationship with the individuals who work alongside me in achieving this quest. I have such a heart to give my time and my very best efforts to making life better for someone other than myself.
  18. Pretty toes. Yes, I have some gawgous toes that I love to see in wedge sandals and peep-toe pumps.
  19. Pretty brown eyes. Because my daddy says I have eyes like my mama’s.
  20. A great friend. I am not your typical friend particularly if you are the needy type. You don’t have to call me everyday. In fact, it could have been years and in some cases it has been. But when you or I do pick up the phone and call, well be right back. Sitting on the phone for hours with everything to talk about because you are truly a friend. This is beyond friendship. This is family. It’s ok to call me when you need something. It’s ok to call me when you’re in trouble. Let’s just hope you don’t get in trouble that often cause then I can’t really make you any promises. My true friends understand and that is why they have my love eternally.
  21. An awesome lover. I don’t love often, but I love to depth that doesn’t exist in this world. So I’ll gladly take my time. If you know anything of a life path 6 then you probably know that hearts don’t get worn on sleeves around these parts. My love is purely unforgettable because it’s that rare.
  22. Being a Big Sister. My very first introduction to life’s leadership course. It taught me so much about being responsible and holding myself accountable. Bottom line, being a big sister has made me everything that I am today. I loved caring for my younger siblings. Not easy but quite rewarding.
  23. Ambition. There’s not much that I want but best believe if it’s on my list consider it done.
  24. Seductive sexuality. I feel so empowered that this is on the list of things I love about myself. Because for so very long, I felt so much guilt about being a sexual person. I guess that’s how it is for southern women. This is who I am and proudly so.
  25. Life of the party. What’s that you say? but I’m an introvert? Au contraire mi amor. Indeed I am an introvert but I love to present and entertain and in those, I quickly and quite easily become the life of the party. I bask in my temporary celebrity then retire to my alone-ness, not to be confused with loneliness.
  26. Purple. I love that this is my favorite color. A very powerful, majestic color. The divine color of the 7th (crown) chakra. A favorite once shared with my mother and now, my grandmother.
  27. Sharing a birthday with the honorable Michele Obama. ‘Nough said.
  28. My beautiful mind. Intelligence is natural. You’re born with that and some people not so much. Ideas, creativity, and beautiful things flow from me like an infinite river. I love to share.
  29. Resilience is a beautiful thing. Stuff happens to all of us; None of us are exempt. I give myself the time I need. I go down into that emotional trench and allow myself to feel everything I need to feel behind anything that I’ve gone through. Yes, I definitely “be in my feelings” sometimes. Then I give myself that little pep talk. “Victoria we still in this thing, so we gotta keep moving. If you need a break, take it, I understand, but we gotta keep moving.”
  30. My beautiful soul. Free and untainted. People like to say that no one is perfect. I AM. Perfectly me; loved and embraced for all that I am and am not.

What things do you love about yourself? I hope you’ll wish me a happy 30th!

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