Happy Half New Year! The perfect time to celebrate getting through the first half of the year successfully and set new goals for the second half. Yay, you! Celebrating ourselves is certainly something we should do more often. . .It’s a Millennial thing.
Happiness is a choice; one that I make daily despite the things going on in and around my life. Life has been happening in a way. . .a good way, a growth way; a way that puts to use those critical thinking skills so much so that you say to yourself, “thank goodness that was a required course”. They’ve turned out to be so useful in navigating my black, female, mother, single parent, rebellious life. Yes, I can admit, some problems I’ve created for myself, externally, but that is perfectly ok with me because I like myself much better this way. When I’m true to who I am, I sleep better at night.
Never settling for the path of least resistance.
This season of my life has been so tough. I’m STILL mourning the life of my mother and thus the life that existed before this period of my life, the one in which I could call her anytime, tell her anything, and stay on the phone for hours. I suppose the best thing about this loss is that I’ve started an entirely new dialogue with God. I never had that before this. . .not really.
Not to mention, I miss my family but it’s not economical for me to be with them right now. It would probably be the best thing for me psychologically. My granny emits this penetrating aura of love that is almost palpable. I wish I could just tuck her away in my bag and carry her everywhere I go.
For too long, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now, I do. Figuring it out turned out to be the toughest part of it all. As I see it in my mind, once I figured that out, the rest is already done. Now, I’m just going through the journey, which is the most important part. At least, that is what I’ve been told.
July 1st marked 183rd day of the 2016. It is officially my Half-New Year and with it comes my Half-New Year’s resolutions; a change I committed to outwardly and felt internally. Mostly this resolution focuses on my mental and spiritual health. As an Empath, I’ve come to realize the world affects me differently. I realize that I have to implement ways to cope until I rise. By rise, I mean gaining a better understanding through truth instead of judging and seeking blame which I can admit that I do too much. This does me no favors. It simply reminds me of my own insecurities. It also involves being able to process “outside” emotions, emotions that are not my own, that do not come from me, and just do not reflect my own thoughts and beliefs but affect me none the less. . .*SIGH*.
This is a reason why I am constantly running away. This is the reason why I am so careful who I let in because when I let the wrong type of people in, it can be so destructive. I’m learning that I must take care with the activities I indulge in and the people I indulge with. I’m still learning to process my emotion.
I’ve been contemplating consistency and commitment. I lack both. Mostly I’m ok with that but in reflection of the society I live in, I get that these are not observed as good characteristics. The goal is the same, the strategy changes constantly. Constantly changing strategies is certainly the opposite of consistency. Well, I guess when you look at it from a different perspective, I am consistently changing. Perspective is everything. So in that way I am consistent. I am officially not longer contemplating consistency.
My Half-New Year resolution is to be a greater, healthier version of me. I talk to myself more because sometimes you just need to talk it out; no feedback, no input. Besides there isn’t anyone I want to talk to, yet. In turn, I laugh at myself more, particularly when people catch me talking to myself. Thinking out loud is good for my health.
I know I’ve been AWOL on the blogging scene. I make no apologies. Like I mentioned earlier, life has been particularly TOUGH. Note the emphasis on tough. I’m currently working on my blog behind the scenes as I break through this creative blockage occurring in my Sacral Chakra. So I encourage you to sign up for email updates. At least you can be sure I won’t inundate your inbox.
I appreciate you always.