Everyday I wake up, I admire how beautiful I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been an attractive person but I have not felt more beautiful than this specific moment of my life. Of all the transitions I have made, this one has been the most transformational. It is a journey some six years in the making prior to its conception in August 2013.
One thing I know about myself is that I care way too much about what others think. Particularly those close to me whose opinions I value, specifically, my family and close friends. Funny thing is those are the ones who think I don’t give a crap about what anyone thinks or has to say. Mostly because that is the way I’d like it to be. It is the attitude I project. In fact, if I hadn’t cared so much about what others thought of me, my loc journey would have begun long before it did.
I was caught up in the fear that locs wouldn’t be accepted as professional making it difficult for me to find a job or to be successful in my career. My ex-husband and his family did not like locs due to the association with the Rasta lifestyle; they are Jamaican.
So, even though I had been in love with locs since my sophomore year in college, I didn’t ever see them as being an option for me because of these influences. Needless to say, when that season of my life ended, my loc journey began. In this way, locs serve a more significant representation of my life.
My goodness, it’s amazing how much fear can reign over and control your life, reduce you to being less than you have the potential of being. Who knew, that changing your hair would amount to the most liberating experience of your life?!
For me my loc journey represented the evolution that was occurring in my life. It represented the patience I would need to endure. It represented the growth I would witness forming in my life; the transitions I was going through. My locs are much more than a hairstyle; they are a lifestyle . In fact, I didn’t even see them as a hairstyle. I felt that they were an extension of me, the me I was meant to be, a me that I am proud to be regardless of less than consenting opinions. They brought about a change in my persona and my entire being-ness. I felt bolder; I felt more confident and freer just as the introduction to Sister Locs kit said I would.
It was an exciting change to make. I needed that to represent the change that I felt within because it was such a huge life transition that I could not contain it. I felt even the world perceived me differently. I sparked interest and inquiry particularly within myself. I wanted to discover more about who I am.
I started my loc journey with about an inch of hair. Today, I am two plus years strong loving every single moment of my loc journey; the energy I attract, the presence I command not to mention the time (and money) I save and never a bad hair day: effortless beauty. People express endearing admiration of my hair and I enjoy soaking it all in and reflecting that feeling to others I encounter. I smile way more than I ever have at least it seems that way. Overall, I vibrate on a much higher frequency.
Going back to natural was even a difficult decision to make. By now I’ve gotten use to my grandmother’s nappy head compliments that I now see as a love/hate expression. My mother had gotten used to me chopping off my hair, which initially was scary for me b/c I had no idea how long it would take my hair to grow back, stigmas in the black community associated with cutting or having short hair, and all the boys you liked who preferred long hair. It is certainly something that I had to overcome particularly when I had not grasped who it is that I truly am, however, I now realize this journey served as a pivotal point in that journey. Afraid that my hair would be too course or too kinky or tightly coiled for me to love.
Every day that I look in the mirror, I see my locs and I see how far I have come and they remind me of how far I will go. I have never heard so many beautiful compliments in my life before this journey. So many inquisitive people surround me.
My loc journey has been inpiringly liberating and of those that I meet beginning their loc journey like me, many of us agree that it a transition that brings with it true transformation. This is something I must explore more in depth.
What kind of journeys have you embarked on in your life? What do these journeys represent?